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Today remarked my 2nd day here - HSNZ.

I was induce twice today.

Seems like my baby refused to on board today.

Alhamdulillah the beats reading on CTG machine is fine.

I cant now differentiate If am going to poo or otherwise. The cramping belly is so painful - just like my baby turn to be frozen. Hehe maybe Anna or Elysa? Hehe pardon my spelling as am not the fan of both :)

Tapi since induce memang perut mengeras. Macam orang cakap - period pain yang melampau. But since I can stil sleep with adjusted preferable position so  there is no sign of the most wanted sign -  contraction. Ouch

But as when I walk I could feel my bumper macam nak expanding, macam try to strecth my small pelvis. And yea it is hurt. Normal for 1st pregnancy especially. Hmm.

Actually today I feel quite sad sebab belum ada rezeki nak jumpa baby eye to eye. As when the doctor inserted 2nd induce, I was told no jalan lagi. Right after that I was crying on my bed.

Just before I convince myself again - Inilah ketentuan Allah. Mesti ada hikmah dia belum bagi tanda nak bersalin. Mesti ada sebab baby belum keluar hari ni. He knows better. 

Kalau nak pregnant I sanggup tunggu for long time, I sanggup warded due to bad morning sickness for couple of weeks! and I sanggup carry this bump to here and there selama 9 bulan! Kenapa pulak I nak sedih sangat bila cuma beberapa hari baru warded sebelum say gudbye to this bump an hello to my lil angel!

I try so hard to be positive. I should be thankful. There's other people who still waiting to be in my shoe - mommy to be.

Some is having complication whilst waiting for the born day. And some even couldnt survive their pregnancy.

MasyaAllah what else I could ask? Syukur Alhamdulillah. 

Allah Maha Besar.

Allah Maha Penyayang.

Allah Maha Pengampun.

Permudahkanlah ya Allah.